My husband and I are parents by adoption to a magical little African boy, since January 2016. He has enriched our lives in an amazing way! I wish to share with you some of our experiences and ideas, some tricks we found to address (and understand!) some difficult behaviors in the first few months, and some insight into what «specialists» suggest versus what your gut tells you your unique child needs.
I am a trained & experienced Lifecoach, and I also have training in Psycho-Social Intervention. I have read many books and articles about adoption, heard many adoption stories and I know that support is greatly needed at all the stages of this out of the ordinary, extraordinary experience. When you are «in waiting», there is the torture, the «contractionesque» pains, that can be, at times almost unbearable. (In our case, almost 3 years of waiting). When you are (finally!) about to leave to get your child, and when you are there, you can experience a wide range of emotions and experiences. From the most difficult to the most magical to anything in between. (In our case, he was pretty sick there and we got sick too). When you arrive home with your new family member, you are all tired from jet lag or from possible sicknesses, and you are all getting to know each other, while your little one is in shock. This state may be clearly broadcast or skillfully kept within, but it is guaranteed to be there.
Adopting is not always easy, if only for the heaviness of the various bureaucratic procedures before, during, and after the trip or first encounter.
Here is how I can help and support you:
…You are ready to adopt, you are nervous, you have questions about what you’re getting into.
… I can suggest valuable steps to take during the perhaps lengthy ‘paired’ stage, while your child is still not with you.
…Once you have your child, I can assess the situation and determine steps to improve it.
…Debug behavioral issues with your adopted child. Is it an adoption issue or a general parenting one?
…Determine steps to reinforce attachment. Oh, and what is attachment?
…Create and understand the ideal gameplan for socializing your child with relatives, friends, and strangers.
…Clue you in about typical mistakes made which spoils trust and promotes delays for family harmony.
…Make sure you understand developmental issues for the adopted child and how to ease them.
…I will listen with a compassionate ear to your concerns and anxieties.
Looking forward to supporting you in your amazing adventure! :)