These five steps are designed to help you feel good, to help you feel better than you do now. If you feel out of balance, not quite like yourself, or you feel lost and fragmented and you want to improve your state, it can help you. It can be used for «emergency pick me ups», and for maintaining your usual feel good state. It can be used in parts or from beginning to end, to suit all your needs.
If you are reading this, you probably don’t feel that good. Chances are you feel bad. So let me first remind you that this state is temporary. Remember when you have felt like this in the past, and you have overcome it. You will again. Maybe it will be faster this time with the right help, and because you already have past experiences to rely on.
So here are the 5 Steps to Feeling Good again:
1.Review your thoughts about what is happening. Most times, these thoughts are more upsetting then the event itself. Are your thoughts a bit extreme, such as: «I’m not good at anything!» or «Not surprising that this happens to me, I’m so unlucky.». Do you perhaps take that one bad comment to heart even if there were many other positive ones? Maybe you have jumped to conclusions about your upseting event without having double checked that your interpretation fits the facts? Do you blame yourself for things that are not under your control? Or maybe you blame others? Many mothers would blame themselves for their child’s problems, for example. Either way, blame leads nowhere constructive.
Confront your thoughts with reality and see where you went wrong. All thoughts that contain «should» lead to guilt, anger and frustration, depending if they are directed towards yourself or others.
2.Are you breathing? When we are tensed, our breathing can become shallow. Take a moment to take ten deep breaths, exhaling through the mouth in double the time that you inhaled (through the nose). Take your time. (For example, inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds.)
3.Put yourself in motion. Walk around the block, around the house, dance to a music you like, go to the gym, swim, whatever form of motion works for you. If you can, get a massage.
4.You think you know how to live your best life, in fact, you are merely an explorer of all possibilities, prepared fully to face all challenges that you will encounter. Remember your essence, your divine being is not afraid, only your human self is affected by «humaness». You overcome this part of yourself in the same way that water melts under the sun: naturally. You are built to grow, and nothing will stop that. All failures that you perceive, all difficulties and hardships are only tools for your deeper Self to use in order to become a more developed being. You grow, you learn, you shine, repeat. Love yourself. Find a mirror and tell yourself outloud: «I love you».
5.Play! Have fun, not «some» fun, but real, genuine fun! Go play with a toddler, go laugh with your friend, go see a movie, go play in the snow, in the sand… Perhaps you like video games? If it is hard for you to find something fun to do, make a list of all the things that enliven you. The things that make you vibrate and feel alive. From petting your cat to jumping in a parachute. The uniqueness of it does not matter. What matters is to increase this activity in duration and frequency. The goal is to do at least one fun thing daily. Do this and your life will change! On your death bed, do you think that you will regret that you had too much fun? :) Yes, I allow you to stop being serious, to take a break from all your responsibilities, and to fill up your «fun tank»! Tirili tirili tirili tam, poo poo pee doo!
Still here? Well you need more help then…:) Or perhaps you read the 5 steps but didn’t actually DO them? If so, don’t beat yourself on the head, it is what most people do. The difference between knowing something on an intellectual level and integrating it through experience is decisive. So it is up to you if you want to continue feeling the way that you do, or if you want to try something new, something a little bit more proactive, and if you can do this with constitency. Whatever you choose, I am here if you need me.