This is a popular question among clients and friends alike. I think we all get stuck in small or bigger ways at some points in our lives. Sometimes, it is an uncontrollable and often unwanted event that will get us unstuck, after many tears and much resistance: the loss of a job that we felt stuck in, the loss of a relationship that we knew, deep down, was going nowhere, etc. There are situations that seem so complicated to resolve that we just freeze. We prefer to do nothing instead of risking to «rock the boat» or creating more havoc. Our doubts become mountains that seem impossible to climb. There are situations that appear simple to solve, but when we start to act, we feel unequipped to face the challenges which surface within the solutions we have found.
So you are stuck, and it feels like you are wasting precious time, and you wonder what is wrong with you. It doesn’t feel like you. And it is true, it isn’t you. In fact, let me ask you this: Who is the person that is stuck? And who is the person that wasn’t stuck? You must have had moments in your life when things were easy, flowing from you and towards you easily. Is it possible that you lost touch with who you are along the way? That the clarity of your being has become less transparent to yourself?
Making decisions comes easily to those who know themselves well, who know what they like and what they need and want. Their actions flow out of that «deep knowing». I invite you to think back to a moment of your life when things were clear to you (who you were, what you wanted, deserved, etc) and ask yourself what has changed in you, not AROUND you, but IN you.
After you have clarified who you are or who you have become (yes, it might have changed!), to create movement in your life and put yourself in motion, you can make a list of actions towards your goal, and then pick the smallest one on it and just do it. You can’t seem to decide which field to study? As an example, a small step towards movement could be to research resources that could inform you: career guidance counselors, and so on. Notice that I said to research the resources? I did not even say to call any of them. You want to get unstuck, not become overwhelmed with other big decisions that you will get entangled in. Small steps are a way to be kind to yourself, to treat your state with respect, like a loving child.
Every time I had a client make a small step that we found to be aligned with who they are, an action that was going to be helpful but not overwhelming for them, and that they did it, they took off like a rocket and wondered how they could have been stuck for so long! We could almost say that taking «any» action is better than doing nothing, when one is stuck.
Food for thought
I wish for you that you would be kind to yourself, that you would listen to the part of you that hesitates. Maybe it is your wisest self, warning you, that makes you freeze? Listen, wonder, accept to stay stuck, do not resist being where you are. Accepting it will give you priceless information, like only true relinquishment can. And remember this: there are no mistakes.
Putting your body in motion can also help you get unstuck. Click here for more details.
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